Meaning: They present their experiences in a way that assumes that everyone uses Grindr, or has the same access on Grindr as them, while at the same time erasing the ways in which their body is privileged in such a way that allows them to have positive experiences on Grindr.īut these conversations can become complicated because they run the risk of erasure.Įven as I write this, I can think of a handful of people I know who seem to use Grindr with their desired results who don’t fit the above description – particularly trans feminine people, and those who go to Grindr to specifically seek out meeting trans feminine people. Toyota Corona has written a brilliant article addressing her positive experiences on Grindr as a fat femme trans woman, and the diversity of desires that are present there. People with normative, culturally valued bodies (that is, thin or muscular, white or light-skinned, hairless or appropriately hairy, cis, masculine, non-disabled, and so on) use Grindr as a way to seek out sex, friendship, and other relationships, and present their experiences on Grindr as if they are universal. Not only do they inevitably bring up Grindr, but they talk about it in a way that assumes I can relate to their experiences. Usually, as allosexual and sex-positive adults, sex almost inevitably comes up in conversation and – given that these people are almost always thin people who exclusively enjoy sex with other thin people (though they wouldn’t probably think of themselves that way, or admit it) – they inevitably bring up Grindr. Sometimes, I also befriend men, or other queer people, who enjoy and seek out sex with men.
![fat hairy gay men hugs fat hairy gay men hugs](https://i.ebayimg.com/images/i/401351642410-0-1/s-l1000.jpg)
I’m a queer, fat person who enjoys and seeks out sex with men, usually men who think of me as a man (and I don’t correct them).
![fat hairy gay men hugs fat hairy gay men hugs](https://cdn.theatlantic.com/assets/media/img/mt/2013/10/AP440701046/lead_large.jpg)
![fat hairy gay men hugs fat hairy gay men hugs](http://i1.ytimg.com/vi/UL_dCEEvUp0/hqdefault.jpg)
Two people hugging while staring at each other just before they kiss